


tables make a bird's best friend

by Nikiforlove



Category: Periodic Table Squad
Genre: A TABLE FIC, AFTER EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN THROUGH, Finally, Gen, I Love You All, JANINE WE LOV E YOU, JANINE WE LOVE YOU, No hard feelings, Oh God Yes, THIS TOOK ME THREE HOURS, This is a crack fic, i hope no one gets offended by this, periodic table squad - Freeform, pls omg, tables, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 21:41:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11586747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikiforlove/pseuds/Nikiforlove
Summary: The furniture fic that everyone except Janine has been asking for.[DEDICATED TO THE PTS]





	1. Attainable heights

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The Periodic Table Squad](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+Periodic+Table+Squad).



> Woah. This turned out to be a blizzard of writing moods and styles, holy shittttt
> 
> go read guys hahahahah

  
tick tock, tick tock, tick tock

The sheets were cold, the breeze was stale.

tick tock, tick tock, tick tock

The windows were drawn shut, and a sliver of moonlight sliced through the room from between the thick, heavy curtains.

tick tock, tick tock, tick tock

A soft breath echoed through the room, as it’s owner stared blankly up at the ceiling, eyes half-lidded and null.

tick tock, tick tock, tick tock

A hand reached up into the air, grasping at nothing before gently falling down to the girl’s chest. The bed felt soft and enveloping behind her, but she found herself unable to delve into the night’s calls of sleep.

tick tock, tick tock, tick tock

“Janine Relsskla…” she whispered quietly into the empty room, “I am Janine Regala.” Somehow, it left a bitter tang in her mouth, heart being pressed down by the pinprick of a needle. this is wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

tick tock, tick tock, tick tock

Her brows scrunched together, hand fisting the cloth by her chest, trying to drown out the indescribable feeling of wrongness, of denial, of being off-kilter. It was hard to explain. Like a river of doubt and non-belongingness, it ate at her.

tick tock, tic--

“I am..” she began, words beginning to taper off. She shifted from her position on the bed, rolling around recklessly, as if it would disrupt the ocean of feelings that enclosed her. “Janine Relsskla,” she said, more solid and tangible this time, finding a spark of belief in herself. “I’m Janine Relsskla.”

With that, the sandman claimed her as one of his own.

\---

  
“Psst, Janine!”

“Yes, Jodie?”

School was cold too, Janine thought. Though, maybe it was just the aircon in their room.

“Happy Birthday!”

Oh, Janine thought. Another year gone. How fast time flies.

“Great, another number to rack on my already raging age-gap between all of you guys,” she quipped naturally, slinging her bag behind her desk, taking her seat with a breathy sigh.

“Mama Jodes! Grandma Janine!” Kyra yelled, quickly shooting from one end of the room to another. Positively bouncing for 6:15 am, she slung her arms around Janine’s neck. “Eugh, don’t call me that.”

“Whoa, Kyra’s early,” Joshielle exclaimed from the side, slowly walking to the forming group with Monica, Mikaelle, and Janette in tow. “My dad had a meeting at 7:00, so I had to get here early too. Usually, I’m just eating breakfast by now,” Kyra sighed.

“Agahan mo kasi,” Monica jabbed playfully. “Fuck off, Monica, no one likes you,” was shot back quickly. (Followed by an “I’m kidding, I love you,” 0.2 seconds later.)

“Hullo!” Amanda and Jade chorused from the door, Misha between them. “Oh, where did you guys come from?” Janette commented quietly, like the shy Giraffe she was. “Library. We had to print the CLE project, and we borrowed Mandoy’s charger,” Misha explained tactfully--

“Oh fuck,” Mikaelle cried, at the same time Kyra’s eyes widened with a soft: “Shit” slipping from her lips.

“Mandoy! Bilis, di pa naman time, di ko rin na-print yung sakin!” Kaelle panicked, grabbing her ipad from her desk. “Kyra, sama ka?! Bilisan mo!”

“No! Di ko pa nga nagagawa!”

“Sad for you, bye!” Mikaelle shouted before dragging Amanda out the door by her wrist.

And at Kyra’s anguished face, and at everyone’s coalescing laughter, Janine decided that she was happy too, her merry notes of joy meeting with the others.

\---

Recess.

Recess was shady.

Everyone seemed to avoid Janine, Jodie, Misha and Jade being the only ones talking to her, and with a very, very, very, fake tone of enthusiasm, mind you.

Joshie, Neeta and Monice were whispering lowly to themselves at the other end of the table, frequently switching their ipads on to check the time.

Something was up.

(Janine felt like she was at the eye of a hurricane.)

\---

“Hello, ma! Where are you?” Amanda whisper-yelled into the phone, Kyra and Mikaelle with her.

“Shh! Not too loud! The teachers are gonna hear us!” Mikaelle shushed, bringing a finger up to her lips.

Amanda glared.

“Okay, okay, ma. So sa Lunch nalang? Okay, okay. Thank you, love you, bye.” Amanda whispered-- softer this time-- into the phone, before clicking it shut.

“Damn, Lunch nalang?” Kyra sighed disdainfully.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, ibalik mo na muna yung cake kay ate,” Kaelle told Kyra, shifting her weight onto one side, and leaning on the wall.

“Mm.”

“I’ll text Joshie,” Amanda declared.

\---

“Are they here? Did they get it? Damn, I’m vibrating with excitement--”

“Ah, speak of the devil, my phone just vibrated,” Joshielle said with a breathy laugh, looking left and right for any teachers before fishing her phone from her pocket. Thank god teachers were only supposed to eat with the students during Lunch time.

**  
Chlorine // Pork=Beef // EYYMANDOY // AMANDAMNED**

**> > Joshie, mission birbda failed. Delayed until 1155 hours.**

**< < I copy, Cl. Over and out.**

**> > Gotchu bb, ;)))**

**> > that was kyra, not me ok**

**< < hoe**

  
“Plan failed, guys. Moved to Lunch time.”

“Okay,” Monica said. “Janette, pass on the signal.”

“Mm.” Janette slid up to Misha, Jade and Jodie, tapping her finger on the table twice. Subtle enough for Janine not to notice. “Jodie, Monica wants a grape,” Janette followed, using it as a reason for her sudden approach.

Janine narrowed her eyes. Something was up.

\--

Lunch.

The air seemed to be electrically charged, and everyone was on edge.

Why?

Well, now Janine knew.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” rang from the PTS table, echoing throughout all the nearby huts. “ONE, TWO, THREE, GO!” Jade yelled as the whole class this time broke into the familiar song, a few of the other sections chiming in. Mikaelle tried to harmonize with it, drowned out by Kyra’s screamo rendition.

Janine felt several eyes staring at her, the feeling of embarrassment creeping up her spine. She quickly sat down and covered her face, waiting for the torturous song to end.

“--BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUU!” Claps resounded through the tables, and Janine has never wanted so much for the earth to swallow her right there and then.

“Are you guys done--” Janine started, quickly cut off by Jade and Misha.

“bUT WAIt, THERE’S MORE!” They yelled, jazz-hands pointing at Monica and Amanda. The pair raised a cake box into the air, gently settling it before Janine. It was a simple chocolate cake, with a simple blue candle. Thank god they didn’t get none of those scary-ass firework candles, otherwise, Janine probably would’ve been to nervous to blow it out.

They all seemed all too happy to break into another chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’, so Janine quickly crushed their dreams and blew the candle out immediately. “Thank you guys, I love you all, but can we eat the cake now? I'm hungry--”

“bUT WAIT!! THERE’S MORE!!”-- screamed the whole squad, gaining interested looks from their classmates, batchmates, and teachers alike.

“Stand here, Janine!” Joshielle and Mikaelle urged, dragging her to the space between Ifu and Iva’s tables. And before she could protest, she was interrupted by yet another yell.

“ILABAS NA ANG MGA SNAPCHAT,” Kyra yelled, before revealing a large box that Janine immediately wanted to slap herself for not noticing earlier. She was too preoccupied with shame and nervousness.

“ONE, TWO--”

And the box opened, revealing a….

  
table.

A mother fucking table, that’s right.

“What the fuck,” Janine muttered under her breath, staring incredulously at the box before her. But as it was brought out completely from the box, she realized, that damn, that was a pretty good-looking table.

“You likey-likey?” Kyra nudged, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Pfft, ‘likey-likey’” Kaelle laughed, shoulders shaking.

“A table?” Janine said, because it was so frickin’ unbelievable, nobody had ever given Janine a table for her bir-- no, nobody had ever given her a table, period.

“You… don’t likey-likey?” Monica whispered quietly, staring at Janine.

The mood plummeted into something awkward, everyone’s looks concentrated on poor granma birb.

“Pfft--” Janine let out. This was great, oh man, this was gold. And without sarcasm or anything hidden inside, Janine laughed. Janine laughed, and laughed, and laughed, until she realized, everyone was too.

And for a moment, everything was brilliant.

\---

(time for the sexy sexy janine x table time yall)

  
tick tock, tick tock, tick tock

The sheets were cold, the breeze was stale.

tick tock, tick tock, tick tock

The windows were drawn shut, and a sliver of moonlight sliced through the room from between the thick, heavy curtains.

tick tock, tick tock, tick tock

A soft breath echoed through the room, as it’s owner stared blankly up at the ceiling, eyes half-lidded and null.

tick tock, tick tock, tick tock

A hand reached up into the air, grasping at nothing before gently falling down to the girl’s chest. The bed felt soft and enveloping behind her, but she found herself unable to delve into the night’s calls of sleep.

tick tock, tick tock, tick tock

Janine shifted to lay on her right side, facing the window.

Facing the table.

After strange stares being shot at her all day for having a janitor push her table on one of those wheely things through the MMJ and to the bus, it finally rested in her bedroom, beside her bed.

She slowly swung herself upright, planting her feet on the floor as the space between her and the table shrunk. It was… a very pretty [table](http://www.ekarfurnitures.com/uploadfile/2015/1020/20151020065028814.jpg), to be honest. And some other adjectives that Janine felt too uncomfortable to describe a table.

Almost before she knew it, a hand was brushing the table’s surface, feeling the golden features ripple at her fingertips. It was so grandiose, like something you would see in a king’s estate; it felt so out of place in her normal room.

But… it felt warm. It was packed with so much feelings from her friends, so much joy, care, and love, sometimes, Janine can’t believe it’s actually hers. That the emotions this piece furniture was shrouded in belonged to her. But she wanted to, so, so, so very much.

It was scary, how a block of refined wood brought out so much sentiment.

It was sort of oval, poking out at the edges to lead to its curving legs. The color theme seemed to consist of beige and gold, the type that would shine even in the darkest of nights, possibly blinding during the brightest of days. Flora adorned the surface, such a delicate and fragile design, yet it seemed so solid in it’s wake, soft colors coalescing to bring something new, unique and beautiful into the world.

Running her fingertips across the sides and down it’s legs, Janine shamefully bit her lip to stifle a small moan-gasp gurgling out of her throat upon feeling the ever so intricate weavings of gold at the palm of her hands.

Goddamn.

Then her mind flashed to today’s memories, of the laughter, the suspicion, the shenanigans, all the tomfoolery that had taken place, and a small smile creeps up into her face, slowly breaking into a fit of small laughter.

Ah, Janine gasped, upon seeing a drop of liquid fall on the table. Followed by more and more, she realizes, these are tears.

What… what was this feeling?

Something that made her heart beat quick, that brought tears to her eyes, that sent her breath hitching and… a fond smile to her lips.

Happiness, something inside her resounds.

“Arigato, minna-san,” an anime protagonist might say at this moment, Janine thinks. But because she’s not fucking Japanese, she says:

“Thanks, guys. Thank you.”

\---

APPROXIMATELY 76 YEARS LATER:

Janine sat on her comfy chair, plush and velvet. Her beloved coffee table rest in in front of her, holding up a cup of warm milk.

Her eyes glued to the screen, she watched the latest episode of Yuri!!! On ICE’s 225th season, the latest trending Kpop band playing in the room behind her.

“Ah,” she says, voice old and quivering, when a tear falls on her table, like all those years ago.

She doesn’t flinch when her hand slaps the mug of milk into shards by the floor.

She’s the oldest.

She’s older than all of PTS.

She’s the granma Janine.

So… why?

Why’d everyone else leave before her?

Why?

“Why?” She cries to the coffee table, tears cascading down, and down, and down, with no sight of an end.

Why’d she have to attend all the funerals?

Why?

What had she done to warrant this?

“Why?!”

“Shhhhhhhhhh, Janine,” the table whispered quietly.

“What the fuck,” she breathes, scooting away from the table. “What the fuck?”

“We’re all here Janine, all of our souls have come together in this table we gave to you so many years ago, this table that you’ve cherished dearly.”

“...”

“Janine, we’ll never leave you, we’re always going to be here,” the table says in a reassuring voice, a sliver of everyone’s voices mashed into one.

Janine feels her eyes burst into more tears of gratitude, pretty fucking weirded out, but seeing enough weird-ass animes to accept the situation.

“But-- what if I pass away?” Her voice trembles, “Like all of you did? What's gonna happen to you guys in the table?"

“We’ll freak the fuck out of your grandkids”---

\---

“NO,” Janine says with a voice of finality, “THIS STORY SUCKS SHIT.”

“But, Janineeee,” Kaelle protests, “It was decent!”

“GO HOME,” Janine sighs exaspiratedly, slamming her door on all 9 members of PTS camped outside her door.

Whines of “Janiiineeeeeee!” and “Nooooooooooo,” could be heard, but hell, Janine’s had enough. She’ll see them all tomorrow anyway.

So, with that, Janine fondly brushes her favorite coffee table, yes, like the one in the story, hops off to bed, and falls into the sandman’s arms once more.

Happily.


	2. What really happened 76 years later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JANINE WE LOVE U

“Hey, guys. Let’s go,” said Grandma Janine, a determined look in her eyes.

“I gotchu babe,” quivered Grandma Kyra.

“After 76 years, still a fucking hoe, I see,” cried Grandma Joshielle.

“After 76 years, still so fucking short, eh?” Grandma Kyra shot back.

“Wait, Kyra, didn’t you break your hip a week ago? You can’t go with us,” Grandma Monice pestered, chucking on her oversized shades.

“I live life to the fullest, binch, and for the last time, those glasses don’t make you look cool!”

“How dare u?” Yells Grandma Jade, approaching Granma Monice with matching shades.

“Did u guys bring ur calamansi water? I brought for everybody!!!” Granma Jodes smiled happily, carring ten Colemans in her arms.

“Holy shit-- Grandmama Jodes! U need help???” Asked Granma Mishae worriedly, assisting her immediately.

“Thank ya’ll, but where--”

“WE’RE HERE, BITCHESSSSSSS,” yells Grandma Kaelle, driving in with Grandma Mandoy steering a hot pink convertible. “YEEEEEEEEE,” Grandma Mandoy supplied, fist-pumping the air.

“Uh, we’re ten, we won’t fi--”

“I BROUGHT TWO, BITCHESSSSSSS,” Grandma Kaelle yells again, in synch with Grandma Neeta swerving in with an identical copy.

“ALL RIGHT, GUYS! COME ON, VAMANOS! EVERYBODY LET’S GO!” screamed Grandma Janine playfully, followed by a “COME ON WE CAN DO IT, I KNOW THAT WE CAN DO IT!”

And so the 10 bombtastic and life-fulfilled 80-year-olds ventured into the Safari, throwing Colemans of calamansi water into wild animals’ (that tried to kill them, otherwise they were left alone) eyes, screaming “CITRUSS” as they did so. They even turned their hot pink convertibles into hot pink jets with awesome technology and blasted BTS and YOI as ther sailed up in the sky with all the birds, they even switched back into a convertible to run with the horses, and into a submarine to delve into the deepest part of the discoverable ocean, earning a scientific award for discovering a horse-bird hybrid that lived underwater, and they were all JOYOUS AND THEY LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH THEY BECAME IMMORTAL AND HAD BOMBTASTIC ADVENTURES TOGETHER AROUND THE WHOLE WORLD IN THEIR BOMBTASTIC HOT PINK CONVERTIBLES.

**Author's Note:**

> fuck me i'm dead


End file.
